HELPING MOMS RISE ABOVE THE STORM SINCE 2003
When you become a parent, you are ushered into a secret club, giving you a depth of experience and fellowship that I call, ‘The Brotherhood of Motherhood’.
You’re never the same again, and better for it.
You see the beauty in the eyes of your child and wonder…
Could your mom or dad have loved you as much as you love this little one?
You work so hard to keep that baby alive and realize that YOU are only here because someone worked hard to keep you alive. Yes – Your Life itself is proof that you are meant to be here. You are loved.
You’re seeing a bigger picture.
In moments of deep reflection you may begin to see that each person walking down the street was themselves once a beautiful baby, deserving of the same love you have for your own child. And suddenly you become aware that LOVE is the underlying foundation of all humanity.
You have been loving others.
Are you ready to love yourself?
YOU are a unique part of humanity that deserves the same love and care.
SCHEDULE A PRIVATE SESSION with Ruth:
Before I had children, I used to believe that love meant: Being the nice guy, always giving in, never expressing a negative emotion, pain or need of any kind.
I was employing the survival strategy I learned growing up:
“GOING ALONG TO GET ALONG”.
I became a ‘Robot Wife’, doing everything I thought I should. I paid attention to everything. Everything except me.
I was trying hard to be the person I thought I was supposed to be, instead of who I really was.
The more I stuffed my feelings to please others, the further I dug myself into a sort of emotional grave.
“Something’s missing. What could it be? It’s ME!”
I’d been giving myself away all along –
to the point that I didn’t exist.
“WHO WAS I ANYWAY?”
It took years to re-discover the real me underneath what I used to be.
I also discovered that it takes more than a “me” and a “you” to make love REALLY WORK.
You need a third ingredient that is absolutely essential.
A truly loving relationship, like a stool, needs at least three basic “legs” to stand on:
Two authentically real people – plus one unity of purpose.
A leg out of alignment would make a wobbly stool.
If only one partner’s needs are being met…
Or they don’t want the same things
Or they don’t carry their weight.
What’s needed?
It’s not 50%.
Love gives all its got.
It does not demand, but respects others.
And that’s what makes the joy in ‘real-ationships’.
Giving out of the inexhaustible fountain of the heart.
From both sides.
You’re in it for the long haul..
And nothing but all of you will do.
♥
Identify what’s holding you back from truly receiving the love you need.
Are you waiting for them to read your mind or guess how your’e feeling?
If you never tell them how you really feel, how can they know?
When I was younger, I was hoping others would psychically divine what I was feeling, because that’s what I always did.
And when they didn’t, I thought it meant they didn’t really care. At least that was the story I told myself. But what was actually true was that I was too afraid that if I did tell people my needs they wouldn’t care anyway, so why should I tell them?
The ‘stories’ we tell ourselves are rooted in the core wounds of our childhood experiences.
Facing the reality of my subconscious world took a lot of work.
Learning to be authentic is scary. But when you eventually stop hiding who you really are it makes you more lovable and is truly more loving. Especially when you’re not secretly being resentful of another’s imagined negligence – when all along they didn’t really know – because you hadn’t told them who you really are. And if they don’t accept you for who you really are, then why are you with them in the first place?
My late husband, Jas Hilsdon would say: “LOVE YOURSELF”
Then PASS IT ON…
♥Ruth Elliott-HILSDON:
Wife and mom of 7,
Founder and Director of Edu Designs,
Emmy Award Winning Animation Artist,
Musician, Author and Coach to
Spirit Led Supermoms.
Testimonials
I just finished reading your amazing 9 TIPS TO KEEP YOU FROM FREAKING OUT! As a coach to parents of tweens and teens, one of my key messages is calm parenting…you give excellent FOUNDATIONAL keys to helping parents become more responsive rather than reactive. So practical. So true.
“I am a teacher in a head start program in Tuscaloosa, AL, children ages 3-5yrs. Most of these children have behavior issues and are being put on time out constantly but none of that seemed to work… After listening to you speak on TV today, I decided to get to your website. I will use your material in my classroom to help these children. Thanks for all you do. God bless you!”
